Handprints

Leading up to Harrison's first birthday I became quite emotional. I can't help but be unsure if he is my last baby. Is this my last time celebrating a first birthday? Is this the last time feeding him? When he started crawling, he just changed. He went from baby to not so baby anymore. I've been thinking (maybe a little too much) of getting old and all these days being behind me. I've been thinking that I'll miss these days terribly one day. I wonder if my boys will move away from me. If they will still let me kiss them on their cheeks or squeeze their little chubby legs. I guess they won't have little chubby legs...

What I'm realizing is that time doesn't slow down for anyone or anything. I will never ever ever get a single one of my days back.  So if I don't savour these moments now, they will be gone forever. I won't get to kiss another smooth baby cheek or squeeze their little legs again. Carson's aren't so chubby anymore. Already. 

Not only was it Harrison's first birthday, Carson's 4th is just around the corner. 4!!!! He's going to kindergarten. His last day of preschool has come and gone. I'm going to miss taking him there. He made so many friends and learned so much. Both my babies are growing and changing so fast! 

I'm soaking it all up and truly enjoying my moments with them. I'm letting go a bit more of cleaning and taking them to the park instead. Harrison learned to climb stairs a couple days ago. If I was in my kitchen slaving away, we wouldn't have been there for him to learn and practice. 

Every single day there are handprints all over my dark hardwood floors, oven and stainless steel fridge. My white cupboards have dirt on them and there are toys scattered all over my main floor. I used to wipe them off all the time and care so much about cleaning. I've started to just leave them knowing that soon enough, Harrison will just be walking and not crawling around or standing up on the cupboards or oven. He won't be so messy with his food. I'll miss those handprints one day. 

Life is so wonderful. Being able to really embrace the moment is what I'm doing. I'm really trying to be present for my boys and spend quality time. So many changes are happening with each of them and I don't want to forget a thing. I just want my boys to know how much they've really added to my life and that I cherish them more than anything. My family makes me so full. Nothing I've ever purchased has given me joy the way my family does. I'm so grateful.