Wednesday Night Circus Act 1

Every Wednesday night for the next 2 months, and the past month, Austin has been going to a study group for an exam he will be writing in July of this year. He doesn't come home until 930pm these nights. One would think that just a few extra hours in a day wouldn't get so crazy, but they do!

Here is my story from last night:

330pm: Carson is teething and whinny. I went to feed him and possibly get him to nap.Of course, Marley and Arlo decide that is the perfect time to play with each other. Great. Just when Carson started to sleep, the barking began. 

406pm: The neighbourhood kid dog walkers come to the door to pick up Arlo for his weekly walk. At the same time, Carson is half asleep and gets woken up by more barking! Imagine me at the front door, two dogs barking and jumping up down and Carson crying in his crib. 


410pm: Both dogs are gone. The house is very quiet, but Carson is wide awake now. New plan- ditch the third nap-Carson gets his dinner instead.

430pm: Carson is done eating and is on to his Cheerios while I try cleaning the kitchen enough that I can actually see the counter and make myself something for dinner (which is still unknown). I also grabbed the vacuum cleaner at this point, but had no idea where the floor piece was. I guess the Swiffer will have to do.


440pm: Carson is done his Cheerios and is whining. I go get some toys for him to play with and bring his high chair right near the sink so that he can be right beside me... the beginning of 7 month separation anxiety.

503pm: Dishes are done, my stomach is growling. What to make? Eggs it is! Carson is throwing toys on the floor! It's fun to watch Mommy pick them up!


515pm: Dogs are both returned and looking for MORE food. As I grab the dog food container, it somehow slips out of my hand and food is everywhere... literally all over the floor!

520pm: I have Carson strapped to me in the Onya Baby carrier and am trying to pick up dog food as fast as I can so Marley (the lab) doesn't eat it all. All I can see is slobber on the floor and I just can't keep up. Carson is wondering what the heck is going on! On top of it all, my legs are killing me from lunges the other night at the gym. Seriously, why is the floor so far away?


530pm: Back to making my dinner and as I do so, I dropped an egg on the floor. Have you ever tried picking up slimy raw egg? Of course the paper towel roll is almost empty too. I was cheap and bought the no-name brand that you need to use 10x more to absorb anything! Is this really happening???


540pm: Carson is in his exersaucer now and basically crying at me the entire time I'm eating my fried egg sandwich. As I scarf this down the two dogs are playing all over the place and I have Carson screaming at me bouncing in his exersaucer. No matter what crazy faces I make at him or silly songs I sing, he just wants to be picked up.

545: We go up to Carson's room and play on the floor. All of a sudden he's happy... finally. Sitting on the floor with him, I just was to lay down and sleep, but Carson is grabbing my face.. ouch!

617pm: PJ time, new diaper and a feeding. Once again, this is the perfect time for the dogs to play right? They think so. Carson keeps turning his head to see what they're doing. Time to close his bedroom door.


703pm: Carson is now asleep, but not for long since every car that drives by requires a bark. When Austin isn't home the dogs are super protective of the house. 

Parenthood is all about unexpected changes and dealing with multiple things going wrong at once. Having to multi-task is essential and learning to just breathe is also a must. I'm still figuring out the breathing part.
 
I felt like I was going to collapse by the time Austin got home last night, at which point I was back in Carson's room getting him back to sleep.

This is the reality of 24/7 parenting. I was mentally going a little crazy yelling at dogs and dealing with poor teething Carson all at the same time, having one mishap after another.

I will say, every day is not like this one was and Carson is mostly the happiest baby ever, just not when he's tired and uncomfortable. The lesson learned: Finding humour in life is the best way to keep some sanity. 

I wonder what next Wednesday night has in store for me....

What's For Dinner?

Dinner, dinner, dinner. What's for dinner?

Why has it taken me so long to be able to figure this one out? I had some very unrealistic expectations of what being "OFF" work would be like.

Before Carson came along I had visions of Austin walking through the door at 4pm, me greeting him at the door with a kiss,  a happy baby sitting in his high chair, and having dinner right on the table. That sure was some fairy tale. Instead, my table is full of random clutter, I haven't showered all day, I am wearing my pukey yoga pants, Carson is crying for something, and dinner is nowhere to be found.

This is at least what is was like for the first 4 months. Chaos! I thought I would never be able to get things organized without hiring a maid. I guess it was because I had a baby attached to my boobs for 8 hours a day. Carson was just a needy baby at the beginning. Not to mention the sleep deprivation I had the pleasure of experiencing at 4 months.

Dinner. I hate dinner. When I have been organized and planned something out, Carson needs something or wants something. I can't remember the last time I really sat down and didn't inhale my food. I'm always in a rush and never enjoying the food I do work hard to make. Oh well, this is life now. I have stopped trying to fight it and make "things the way they were". The truth it, things will never, ever be like they were. Life has changed. The more I was fighting it, the less productive I became.

I still find myself at the grocery store 4 times a week just to get everything organized. Baby brain doesn't go away once the baby comes. It can be as if I can only see one day at a time. Carson distracts me with his cuteness and I forget things more than ever. 

As I said, my expectations about being off were so far from what reality is. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work and exhausting itself. Doing anything above and beyond that can be challenging some days.

Now that I have had 7 months to figure this out, I have decided that I simply can't do it all sometimes. I need to be OK with that. The dishes aren't done? Oh well, Carson comes first. The floors are dirty? Oh well, Carson comes first. It's true what 'they' say about time flying by and I would really regret not focusing on what matters right now. What matters right now is not what's for dinner, it's Carson. He needs me now.

At 7 months old, he has become much more independent. This does allow me more free time to get house work done. We have also developed a routine of some sorts and I can get him out of the house without worrying about his naps being messed up. I still have my days that I just can't get it all done and that's just life. It's not going to be perfect.

So, what's for dinner tonight?