When Carson was around 19 months, he showed an interest in going on a potty while we were in Dominican on vacation. I instantly went out and bought him his own little potty when we came home. He used it from time to time and liked it, but it wasn't consistent. When we asked him if he had to pee or if he wanted to go on the potty, he'd always say no. We didn't push it... too much. We did leave him without a diaper during the summer sometimes and he would pee on purpose on the carpet and thought it was funny. He wasn't ready for sure! We eventually just let it go and knew that when he was ready to use the toilet we would know.
A year later and he was still in diapers. I was getting really tired of chasing around a 32 pound boy and changing really disgusting poopy diapers. He also had started taking off his diapers at bedtime and throwing them out of his crib. Things were just not going well. We'd have to go in multiple times to put the diaper back on. My husband and I were slowly going crazy. There's something so stressful about sleep. We had issues with Carson from 4 months to about 11 and every time some sort of challenge appears, we just loose it. I'm just being honest. It's the most frustrating thing I've ever gone through. We knew something had to change.
So, one weekend we just decided to take the diapers away and use pull ups. Previously, if he had the choice, he always wanted his diaper and not a pull up. It took him about 10 seconds to rip the pull up off. This left us with no choice but to go right to his big boy underwear, or nothing around the house. The entire weekend was just basically Carson running around with no pants on. He had a handful of accidents over 3 days.
When he did have an accident, we took him to the potty
and said this is where he should go. He tried to finish his pee there
and negotiated with us for a potty candy. I gave in and gave him one just for finishing his pee there.
As far as how we decided to motivate Carson to want to pee and poop
on the potty, we used a candy jar. I did choose to buy organic jelly
beans and zoo animals. At least there wasn't any food colouring. Still, a
lot of sugar, but it worked!If he didn't ask for a potty candy, we just didn't give him one. He got the zoo animals for poops. He always wanted 2 jelly beans too. He's a good little negotiator already! haha! I told him that once the jar was gone, there was no more potty candy. He didn't get upset or ask for more candy once it was gone. Another surprise to me.
That same weekend, I had plans with a friend of mine that involved me bringing Carson. Great, in the middle of potty training and someone else's house! I was just hoping for the best. When we got to her house, I showed him his potty seat and where the bathroom was. I told him to tell me when he had to use the potty. After about an hour, he told me he had to pee. He ended up doing a pee and a poop. I can't believe how excited I was about this!! I pretty much danced in the bathroom! My friend had a cupboard full of different treats, so Carson got something special for this. It was such a big deal to me that he went at someone else's house and told me about it. Especially the poop. That was his first poop on the potty. Later that afternoon, he did have a small accident in his underwear. Another tiny poop. I didn't get mad at him. He was trying to come back up the stairs to get me. Nature just called...
One morning, about 5 days into this whole change, I was getting him ready to go to the gym and wanted him to wear a pull up, he refused. I kept him in underwear and brought lots of clothes with me in case he had an accident. I was so nervous!! This was the first moment in his life that I've had to let go of control and trust him to lead the way. I had no idea if he was going to actually tell me or the girls at the daycare if he had to pee.
I set up my bike for spin class with him and brought him to daycare. I think I asked him 20 times if he had to pee. A little paranoid. I just knew how much water he had before we left. I showed him where the bathroom was and who to ask to use it while I was in the spin room. He seemed to understand, but I had no idea what was going to happen.
I went back to pick him up with sweat still dripping all over me. I was so anxious about how things went. He surprised me, no accidents! So, I asked him if he had to pee again. He said he did. I took him to the bathroom and once we sat on the big toilet he said he didn't have to anymore. I had promised him a visit to Toys R' Us if he had no accidents, so I had to follow through with that.
Off we went. I was still very paranoid that he was going to have an accident, and this time at a store! I tried to make him pee, but he said he didn't have to. I showed him the bathroom, but all he wanted to do was go play with all the cars. After 30 minutes I convinced him to leave by bribing him with a cupcake treat. We made it all the way home with no accidents.
Ever since this day, he has been in underwear and has maybe had a few dribbles of pee when he's really had to go. I can't believe how easy it was. Yes, it was more to think about for the first few times, but once I realized that he was going to tell me when he had to pee, I was able to relax and trust him.
The other thing that has surprised us is how much he loves to poop on the potty. He's so proud of himself and likes to see it. Hahaa! Boys will be boys...
We have night time pull ups for bedtime. At first, he didn't even want to wear those, but now it's fine. He took them off too and said they hurt him. We just told him that all big kids need to wear these at night in case they need to pee. Eventually, he was ok with it and didn't fuss.
I still can't believe it only took a few days to really say that we're confident leaving him in underwear. A few accidents at home and that was it. It's so much easier!! Especially not using the little potty. He's even graduated to the big toilet at home with his potty seat. No more wiping out poop... gross.. Going out has been great too. Carson will always tell me when he has to go potty and we've had no accidents. I'm so happy that this whole transition was easier than we expected. We didn't even read a thing about potty training. We just went with it.
NO MORE DIAPERS!!! We have a few months to save that money until baby boy comes in June :)
March 4, 2014
February 5, 2014
I love Green Drinks!!!
We try hard to offer Carson a variety of healthy vegatables and food each day. 80% of the time, he doesn't like it!! Toddlers are so picky!! One thing Carson does get excited about is green drinks. Pure green veggies and a bit of fruit.
I started making these January 2013. The last few months I've been "lazy" and haven't made them. He helped me make a fresh batch and devoured his:)
Here's the recipe:
http://m.plantoeat.com/recipes/288211
January 30, 2014
Fit and Pregnant the 2nd Time Around { + my go to snack recipe }
I want to start by talking about what I thought about working out while I was pregnant with Carson... I was very cautious. I remember being about 6 weeks pregnant going to a Body Attack class with a friend and the entire time thinking that the tiny egg was bouncing around in my uterus. My boobs were so sore too, so that was the last time I did that class my entire pregnancy. I stuck to RPM and Body Pump only. I gave up Body Pump at about 23 weeks because I had gained over 20 pounds and my lower back was sore. I went on to gain 60 pounds taking me to a weight of 200lbs!!!
After I had Carson, the weight certainly didn't magically disappear. I remember going to my 6 week check up at the doctor and almost having a melt down because I was still 194lbs. I did have a c-section, but still, I was under the impression that once the baby came out, the weight came off. Was I ever wrong.
It took me about 18-20 months to loose ALL the weight. It was so much work and the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Trying to find time to workout while having a new baby was hard. I eventually gave up on leaving the house too many times a week and worked out a lot at home. Jillian Michaels is my hero!
So, that's a brief background of what I struggled through. I also made huge changes in how my family eats as well. I learned a lot by following Hol:Fit.
Being pregnant again was so exciting, but I instantly became anxious about gaining weight again. I was at my healthiest weight and felt super strong. I just didn't want to throw all my hard work away. I knew there had to be a way to do this better the second time. I talked with my doctor to make sure she knew how intense my workouts were and made sure it was ok to continue my current routine throughout the first trimester. I was given the approval so I kept up with everything for about 2 weeks. I had some light spotting which freaked me right out. I decided that I had to stop all exercise until I knew everything was ok with the baby. We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and the heart rate was great and everything else was normal. I was still nervous. The spotting eventually stopped. It only lasted for 10 days, but it was scary. Once it had stopped long enough, I started easing my way back into my fitness routine. Between workouts at home and the gym, I got back to where I was.
Now, I'm almost 22 weeks and feeling amazing! I've only gained 10 pounds and am feeling very strong. Three main pieces of advice have helped me get to where I am now:
{1} Brace your abs. It's like giving a hug to your baby
I for sure let my abs go very early with Carson. I was scared to suck it in thinking I wouldn't be giving him enough room to grow. What was wrong with me??
{2} Listen to your body. If you were doing it before you were pregnant, it's ok to elevate your heart rate and push yourself. As long as you don't feel like you need a nap after your workout, you didn't push yourself too hard.
With Carson, I was much more concerned about heart rate. I remember it took literally nothing to be at 140. I ended up not really enjoying my spin classes because I was so worried about being breathless and thinking I was going to make my baby stupid by depriving him of oxygen. I can tell you now, he's a very smart boy, I didn't need to worry SO MUCH!
{3} Do not eat for TWO!!! Just keep eating what you ate before and even when you're working out, just make sure you're drinking lots of water and having balanced meals with healthy proteins and veggies.
This is HUGE for me. I ate like a pig with Carson. Yes, he turned out healthy, but I think he would have regardless. Eating 90 grams of protein a day was crazy. I ate 2-3 bowls of cereal for breakfast too. I'm pretty sure that's part of the weight gain issue. Pancakes and sausages too on weekends... ya, that was the issue..
Following those 3 tips have really helped me to feel this great. I've also added an extra component and have been focused on upper back strength. Something I've been weak with anyway. It's made a huge difference to hammer out a few sets of assisted chin ups and rows before or after a cardio class at the gym. It's helping me compensate for my bigger boobs and belly :)
Overall, this pregnancy has been so much easier because I know what I'm doing this time. I'm more aware of my body and what's ok and what's also not ok. I'm determined to keep the weight gain down, but I'm also ok with gaining some weight. I know that's part of the whole journey. I'm a happier person when I'm active as well. My husband knows when I need a workout!! There are so many benefits to keeping active during pregnancy. I'm so grateful that I have the time and energy to keep up with my fitness.
Here's my favourite EASY snack recipe. I stole this from Hol:Fit. this makes enough for an entire week for 2-3 people. I freeze them wrapped individually for an easy grab and go snack :) ENJOY!
Mix all the wet ingredients together first in a large bowl. Then add all the dry ingredients and mix well. Use a glass baking dish and line with parchment paper. Spread mixture into bowl. Pop in the freezer for about an hour. Take out and cut into squares. YUM!
After I had Carson, the weight certainly didn't magically disappear. I remember going to my 6 week check up at the doctor and almost having a melt down because I was still 194lbs. I did have a c-section, but still, I was under the impression that once the baby came out, the weight came off. Was I ever wrong.
It took me about 18-20 months to loose ALL the weight. It was so much work and the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Trying to find time to workout while having a new baby was hard. I eventually gave up on leaving the house too many times a week and worked out a lot at home. Jillian Michaels is my hero!
So, that's a brief background of what I struggled through. I also made huge changes in how my family eats as well. I learned a lot by following Hol:Fit.
Being pregnant again was so exciting, but I instantly became anxious about gaining weight again. I was at my healthiest weight and felt super strong. I just didn't want to throw all my hard work away. I knew there had to be a way to do this better the second time. I talked with my doctor to make sure she knew how intense my workouts were and made sure it was ok to continue my current routine throughout the first trimester. I was given the approval so I kept up with everything for about 2 weeks. I had some light spotting which freaked me right out. I decided that I had to stop all exercise until I knew everything was ok with the baby. We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and the heart rate was great and everything else was normal. I was still nervous. The spotting eventually stopped. It only lasted for 10 days, but it was scary. Once it had stopped long enough, I started easing my way back into my fitness routine. Between workouts at home and the gym, I got back to where I was.
Now, I'm almost 22 weeks and feeling amazing! I've only gained 10 pounds and am feeling very strong. Three main pieces of advice have helped me get to where I am now:
{1} Brace your abs. It's like giving a hug to your baby
I for sure let my abs go very early with Carson. I was scared to suck it in thinking I wouldn't be giving him enough room to grow. What was wrong with me??
{2} Listen to your body. If you were doing it before you were pregnant, it's ok to elevate your heart rate and push yourself. As long as you don't feel like you need a nap after your workout, you didn't push yourself too hard.
With Carson, I was much more concerned about heart rate. I remember it took literally nothing to be at 140. I ended up not really enjoying my spin classes because I was so worried about being breathless and thinking I was going to make my baby stupid by depriving him of oxygen. I can tell you now, he's a very smart boy, I didn't need to worry SO MUCH!
{3} Do not eat for TWO!!! Just keep eating what you ate before and even when you're working out, just make sure you're drinking lots of water and having balanced meals with healthy proteins and veggies.
This is HUGE for me. I ate like a pig with Carson. Yes, he turned out healthy, but I think he would have regardless. Eating 90 grams of protein a day was crazy. I ate 2-3 bowls of cereal for breakfast too. I'm pretty sure that's part of the weight gain issue. Pancakes and sausages too on weekends... ya, that was the issue..
Following those 3 tips have really helped me to feel this great. I've also added an extra component and have been focused on upper back strength. Something I've been weak with anyway. It's made a huge difference to hammer out a few sets of assisted chin ups and rows before or after a cardio class at the gym. It's helping me compensate for my bigger boobs and belly :)
Overall, this pregnancy has been so much easier because I know what I'm doing this time. I'm more aware of my body and what's ok and what's also not ok. I'm determined to keep the weight gain down, but I'm also ok with gaining some weight. I know that's part of the whole journey. I'm a happier person when I'm active as well. My husband knows when I need a workout!! There are so many benefits to keeping active during pregnancy. I'm so grateful that I have the time and energy to keep up with my fitness.
Here's my favourite EASY snack recipe. I stole this from Hol:Fit. this makes enough for an entire week for 2-3 people. I freeze them wrapped individually for an easy grab and go snack :) ENJOY!
Mix all the wet ingredients together first in a large bowl. Then add all the dry ingredients and mix well. Use a glass baking dish and line with parchment paper. Spread mixture into bowl. Pop in the freezer for about an hour. Take out and cut into squares. YUM!
- 1 ripe banana mashed {or 4 dates pureed with water to make paste)
- 2 tbsp Coconut oil melt in micro for 10 sec
- 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
- 1/4 c Maple Syrup
- 1/2 c Peanut Butter (or any nut butter i.e. almond, pecan, cashew, etc.)
- 1.5 c Oats {I use 1/2 c or more quinoa flakes}
- 1/2 c Shredded Coconut
- 1/2 c Raisins (or goji berries, date chunks, cranberries, craisins, dried cherries/mangoes/apricots/etc. Any dried fruit or SEEDS
- 1/2 c Chocolate Chips & Cacao nibs mixed
- 4 scoops Natural Whey Protein Powder
- 2 Tbsp Flax Seeds
- 2 Tbsp Hemp Seeds
- 1.5 Tsp Cinnamon
January 10, 2014
I'll Love You Forever
Each night after Carson gets his books, we cuddle in his rocking chair. I've sung this one little song for a long time, but over Christmas time he wanted Frosty, then Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I was tired of the Christmas songs and started to just sing the words of the book: "I'll Love You Forever".
Yes, I memorized the whole book since I've read it so much!
Since Carson was sick when this started, I've said the words to the entire book probably 100 times. He now repeats it to his baby daughter. He found my baby from when I was a baby and called her Annabella. He also calls her his baby daughter. He puts her to sleep and baths her. It's pretty cute.
The sweetest thing in the entire world is hearing "I love you too Mama." I can't believe how much that can just completley melt my heart. How can I love something this much and then MORE?
Parenthood has it's very rough moments, I'm not going to lie, but hearing those three words and feeling like they're genuine is such a huge reward for all the hard days and nights.
I know one day Carson will probably say he hates me too, or even worse things, but I'll never forget the sound of his sweet voice at this age saying he loves me.
He also sings along with me some nights for a bit until he gets tired enough. I really enjoy this special time with him. I wouldn't trade it for even a minute of watching TV or sleep.
The other song I've started to sing to him, just because the "I love you forever" book is very long and requires a lot of thinking at times, has been:
"You are My Sunshine"
You'll never know dear how much I love you
So please don't take my sunshine away..
Carson also sings some of these lines with me. It's really sweet. I really do feel so grateful being able to share these special moments with my little boy. I'm going to miss these days when I won't be able to rock him in a chair anymore. I'm just soaking it all up now ;)
Yes, I memorized the whole book since I've read it so much!
Since Carson was sick when this started, I've said the words to the entire book probably 100 times. He now repeats it to his baby daughter. He found my baby from when I was a baby and called her Annabella. He also calls her his baby daughter. He puts her to sleep and baths her. It's pretty cute.
The sweetest thing in the entire world is hearing "I love you too Mama." I can't believe how much that can just completley melt my heart. How can I love something this much and then MORE?
Parenthood has it's very rough moments, I'm not going to lie, but hearing those three words and feeling like they're genuine is such a huge reward for all the hard days and nights.
I know one day Carson will probably say he hates me too, or even worse things, but I'll never forget the sound of his sweet voice at this age saying he loves me.
He also sings along with me some nights for a bit until he gets tired enough. I really enjoy this special time with him. I wouldn't trade it for even a minute of watching TV or sleep.
The other song I've started to sing to him, just because the "I love you forever" book is very long and requires a lot of thinking at times, has been:
"You are My Sunshine"
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are greyYou'll never know dear how much I love you
So please don't take my sunshine away..
Carson also sings some of these lines with me. It's really sweet. I really do feel so grateful being able to share these special moments with my little boy. I'm going to miss these days when I won't be able to rock him in a chair anymore. I'm just soaking it all up now ;)
Am I Invisible?
Carson was sick, sick for 6 days in a row. I went to the doctor after 2 days of fever and no sleep and was told it was viral and to come back in 48 hours if the fever continued. 3 days later, I went back. He has strep throat. First time ever. I was so relieved we actually figured it out. It was around 3pm when we found this out and Carson hadn't napped. He hasn't been napping since he's been sick for some reason. He fell asleep in the truck on the way to the store to go fill his prescription. I felt horrible dragging him around this tired, but I had no choice. He needed his medication--yesterday!
I'm sure people were looking at me like I was a horrible parent. Why did I have such a sick tired boy out at the store? I hadn't showered in 2 days either, so I guess I didn't look all that amazing either.
So, I dropped off the prescription and wandered around the grocery store. I tried to keep Carson from being upset or falling asleep in the cart. After 20 minutes, I went to pick up his prescription, there were two people ahead of me. At this point, Carson was whinny and wanted to be held. He rested his head on me and was getting hot again too. Why did I not go to my usual pharmacy? I've never waited this long before for antibiotics!
The person ahead of me had an older son who also had strep. She was nice and told me Carson would be better soon. It wouldn't take long. I felt like she was genuine. It was of her to say that to me. I felt like someone maybe understood what I was going through.
After waiting for what felt like forever, it was finally our turn. Carson wanted to come out of the cart and his boots got stuck. I had to try to get them out as he was screaming. There were about 3 people behind me and no one helped me.
I paid for Carson's prescription with one hand and had to push a giant cart with the other to go pay for the 7 things I had picked up. People just looked at me like I was crazy or something.
Of course, it was busy... it's never this busy during the day! I had Carson in my arms crying and upset. I got in the best line I could see. I felt like I wanted to cry myself. Did I really need milk and eggs?
Just because I'm so lucky, I got in line behind an older person who doesn't know how to use her own debit card. Seriously, why use a debit card if you don't know how to use it? Just use cash lady!! I was starting to loose it. She took forever to move too and I just wanted to hit her with my cart!
There were several people in line behind me. I put up all my food with Carson clinging to me and crying, all with one hand. No one helped me.
I finally paid for everything. I used my TAP PASS for debit too. It was so easy! I walked out, still with Carson clinging to me, he would not go back in the cart. My arm at this point was numb, but I just kept on going. I guess all my workouts are paying off!
We finally got home, he got his dose of medication and wanted to cuddle in our bed. I was starving! Oh well, he needed me.
Austin finally got home and brought me some food in bed once he figured out where we were. Carson fell asleep pretty quick, but it didn't last long. While I was sitting in my dark room, alone with my sick boy, I was able to think about my experience at the store.
I just feel like if I saw another parent with their sick child, I'd help, or at least offer. I'd maybe let the parent go ahead of me in line. What's wrong with our culture today? No one helps each other, no one understands what others are going through. Everyone just ignores others,they wouldn't want to make eye contact or maybe they'd feel like they need to help. It seems like people just care about themselves and what's best for them. No one wants to be inconvenienced.
I was disapointed, but also not overly surprised. I'm starting to realize that I can't expect help, I can't expect understanding, or compassion from people. This world can be ugly. Words are one thing, but actions are another.
All I can be is who I was taught to be. Someone who cares about others and takes time to help when I see a need for it. I will make sure to teach Carson to do the same.
Sometimes I feel like I'm too nice and I worry that because I've had some negative experiences, I'm going to turn bitter, I'm trying to fight against that. I was born a people pleaser, which isn't a great thing at times, I've had to learn to say no to things when it isn't right for me. I need to stand up for myself more too.
As connected as we think we are with all the social media these days, people are so disconnected when it really counts. There's no sense of community, there's not a lot of support for young families. It feels like people just don't care what you're going through, their life is more important. Everyone is in robot mode or attached to what's going on in Facebook land.
Was I just invisible at the grocery store yesterday? I know I wasn't and now I know how much I'm capable of too... even at almost 19 weeks pregnant with 6 sleepless nights. I am strong and I had to dig deep for my inner strength to take care of my son.
The past week has been a bit rough, being home all day with a clingy kid. I love the extra cuddles and I want to be here for Carson. It can be frustrating and stressful too when one little thing needs so much of me. Austin tries to help, but Carson just wants me. I can only give so much. I've just felt so alone and not understood. I feel horrible not being able to work. What can I do though? I don't have any family around that can help, and I'm sure Carson would only want me anyway. It's just not so simple.
These are the days are the days of parenthood I'll want to forget, but at the same time, I know I won't because I've grown as a person and as a Mother from what I've endured. Carson and I have had a lot of bonding time too. It's crazy how one minute it feels like I just can't do this one more day, but 3 more days pass and I'm still doing it. The roller coaster ride continues. When it's hard, it's really hard, and when it's good, it's really good.
I won't give up on the people in this world. I know there are many people who would have helped me out. I know that the most important thing is that I was strong for Carson and did my best for him. Nothing else matters but my family. I can't rely on anything or anyone to understand me, bring me dinner or clean my house. That's my job.
Carson is on the mend now and I appreciate the lessons I've learned this week. Just try to remember next time you see a crazy Mama struggling anywhere, just offer to help. Take a minute or two, it would mean the world to that Mama...
I'm sure people were looking at me like I was a horrible parent. Why did I have such a sick tired boy out at the store? I hadn't showered in 2 days either, so I guess I didn't look all that amazing either.
So, I dropped off the prescription and wandered around the grocery store. I tried to keep Carson from being upset or falling asleep in the cart. After 20 minutes, I went to pick up his prescription, there were two people ahead of me. At this point, Carson was whinny and wanted to be held. He rested his head on me and was getting hot again too. Why did I not go to my usual pharmacy? I've never waited this long before for antibiotics!
The person ahead of me had an older son who also had strep. She was nice and told me Carson would be better soon. It wouldn't take long. I felt like she was genuine. It was of her to say that to me. I felt like someone maybe understood what I was going through.
After waiting for what felt like forever, it was finally our turn. Carson wanted to come out of the cart and his boots got stuck. I had to try to get them out as he was screaming. There were about 3 people behind me and no one helped me.
I paid for Carson's prescription with one hand and had to push a giant cart with the other to go pay for the 7 things I had picked up. People just looked at me like I was crazy or something.
Of course, it was busy... it's never this busy during the day! I had Carson in my arms crying and upset. I got in the best line I could see. I felt like I wanted to cry myself. Did I really need milk and eggs?
Just because I'm so lucky, I got in line behind an older person who doesn't know how to use her own debit card. Seriously, why use a debit card if you don't know how to use it? Just use cash lady!! I was starting to loose it. She took forever to move too and I just wanted to hit her with my cart!
There were several people in line behind me. I put up all my food with Carson clinging to me and crying, all with one hand. No one helped me.
I finally paid for everything. I used my TAP PASS for debit too. It was so easy! I walked out, still with Carson clinging to me, he would not go back in the cart. My arm at this point was numb, but I just kept on going. I guess all my workouts are paying off!
We finally got home, he got his dose of medication and wanted to cuddle in our bed. I was starving! Oh well, he needed me.
Austin finally got home and brought me some food in bed once he figured out where we were. Carson fell asleep pretty quick, but it didn't last long. While I was sitting in my dark room, alone with my sick boy, I was able to think about my experience at the store.
I just feel like if I saw another parent with their sick child, I'd help, or at least offer. I'd maybe let the parent go ahead of me in line. What's wrong with our culture today? No one helps each other, no one understands what others are going through. Everyone just ignores others,they wouldn't want to make eye contact or maybe they'd feel like they need to help. It seems like people just care about themselves and what's best for them. No one wants to be inconvenienced.
I was disapointed, but also not overly surprised. I'm starting to realize that I can't expect help, I can't expect understanding, or compassion from people. This world can be ugly. Words are one thing, but actions are another.
All I can be is who I was taught to be. Someone who cares about others and takes time to help when I see a need for it. I will make sure to teach Carson to do the same.
Sometimes I feel like I'm too nice and I worry that because I've had some negative experiences, I'm going to turn bitter, I'm trying to fight against that. I was born a people pleaser, which isn't a great thing at times, I've had to learn to say no to things when it isn't right for me. I need to stand up for myself more too.
As connected as we think we are with all the social media these days, people are so disconnected when it really counts. There's no sense of community, there's not a lot of support for young families. It feels like people just don't care what you're going through, their life is more important. Everyone is in robot mode or attached to what's going on in Facebook land.
Was I just invisible at the grocery store yesterday? I know I wasn't and now I know how much I'm capable of too... even at almost 19 weeks pregnant with 6 sleepless nights. I am strong and I had to dig deep for my inner strength to take care of my son.
The past week has been a bit rough, being home all day with a clingy kid. I love the extra cuddles and I want to be here for Carson. It can be frustrating and stressful too when one little thing needs so much of me. Austin tries to help, but Carson just wants me. I can only give so much. I've just felt so alone and not understood. I feel horrible not being able to work. What can I do though? I don't have any family around that can help, and I'm sure Carson would only want me anyway. It's just not so simple.
These are the days are the days of parenthood I'll want to forget, but at the same time, I know I won't because I've grown as a person and as a Mother from what I've endured. Carson and I have had a lot of bonding time too. It's crazy how one minute it feels like I just can't do this one more day, but 3 more days pass and I'm still doing it. The roller coaster ride continues. When it's hard, it's really hard, and when it's good, it's really good.
I won't give up on the people in this world. I know there are many people who would have helped me out. I know that the most important thing is that I was strong for Carson and did my best for him. Nothing else matters but my family. I can't rely on anything or anyone to understand me, bring me dinner or clean my house. That's my job.
Carson is on the mend now and I appreciate the lessons I've learned this week. Just try to remember next time you see a crazy Mama struggling anywhere, just offer to help. Take a minute or two, it would mean the world to that Mama...
November 7, 2013
Did THAT Really Happen?
Over the past month a few interesting situations have transpired when I've been with Carson. I've been debating whether or not to share this particular story for fear of judgement, but I figure, it's kinda funny now and I'm sure I'm not the only parent that has had something crazy happen to them throughout the course of raising their children. I'm only 2 years in, so I'm still trying to figure out how to outsmart a toddler. I really never expected my son, my teeny tiny baby boy, to ever be this smart so fast. Obviously, Carson is my first and only, so I have nothing to compare to and have no idea what I'm doing half the time.
My way of parenting has been just learning as I go and figuring out how to tackle the challenges I face when I'm faced with them. The only book I've ever referenced has been a sleep book or two and even then, I didn't read the book from cover to cover. What parent has that kind of time? I'd love to say I did!!!!
So here's the story.....
One morning Carson and I were playing and having lots of fun. Then he wanted to watch his favourite TV show at the moment, Daniel Tiger. I told him before we started to watch it, that we could only watch half the episode because we had to meet our friends at the gym. When the 15 minutes were up and I told him we were done, of course he didn't like that. I gave him a chance to co-operate, when he didn't, I turned off the TV, turned off the basement light (don't worry, it's not dark, we have windows!!) and went upstairs to my bedroom to get myself ready.
About 2 minutes later he walked upstairs with no pants and no diaper. (He's been taking his own diapers off lately and going potty when he feels like it). He then told me that he let our dog outside. I asked him if he let him out in the backyard and he said, no the front door.
GREAT!! Now my dog is running around my neighbourhood (I live in an urban development), I'm naked and my kid is half naked.
Carson leaves the room saying he's going to go check on our dog.
I frantically throw on my clothes and by the time I run down the stairs, our front door is wide open and my kid is outside. It's cold... REALLY!!!??
Thankfully, two neighbours were out walking their dogs and caught my crazy dog and made sure my kid didn't run out on the road.
The whole issue here, my kid can open the front door and unlock it! How did this happen!?? We've never showed this to him.
I was so embarrassed! The parents were really understanding as they have 2 small children of their own and I'm sure have a story kinda like mine.. maybe?? I hope I'm not alone here with my crazy story.
I talked to Carson and told him that he can't leave the house without a grown up. He seemed to understand and I didn't get upset with him. He's only 2. He was just trying to make sure our dog was ok.
I've really learned that even when I wasn't distracted by Facebook or music or anything, these things can happen so fast!! I called my husband and told him what happened. He wasn't upset with me at all. He understands too how easily something like this can happen. This story has a happy ending, nothing bad came of it. We bought and extra lock for our door so we can lock ourselves in. There's no way our little toddler can escape on us again. He has to grow really tall first!
Morale of the story, get a second lock for your door, toddlers are capable of the unexpected! Also, no parent is perfect. We're all learning and trying to do our best. We screw up, probably a lot, as long as we learn from our mistakes we will grow and become better parents. It's good to share stories like this because it makes other parents feel "normal" and understood.
My way of parenting has been just learning as I go and figuring out how to tackle the challenges I face when I'm faced with them. The only book I've ever referenced has been a sleep book or two and even then, I didn't read the book from cover to cover. What parent has that kind of time? I'd love to say I did!!!!
So here's the story.....
One morning Carson and I were playing and having lots of fun. Then he wanted to watch his favourite TV show at the moment, Daniel Tiger. I told him before we started to watch it, that we could only watch half the episode because we had to meet our friends at the gym. When the 15 minutes were up and I told him we were done, of course he didn't like that. I gave him a chance to co-operate, when he didn't, I turned off the TV, turned off the basement light (don't worry, it's not dark, we have windows!!) and went upstairs to my bedroom to get myself ready.
About 2 minutes later he walked upstairs with no pants and no diaper. (He's been taking his own diapers off lately and going potty when he feels like it). He then told me that he let our dog outside. I asked him if he let him out in the backyard and he said, no the front door.
GREAT!! Now my dog is running around my neighbourhood (I live in an urban development), I'm naked and my kid is half naked.
Carson leaves the room saying he's going to go check on our dog.
I frantically throw on my clothes and by the time I run down the stairs, our front door is wide open and my kid is outside. It's cold... REALLY!!!??
Thankfully, two neighbours were out walking their dogs and caught my crazy dog and made sure my kid didn't run out on the road.
The whole issue here, my kid can open the front door and unlock it! How did this happen!?? We've never showed this to him.
I was so embarrassed! The parents were really understanding as they have 2 small children of their own and I'm sure have a story kinda like mine.. maybe?? I hope I'm not alone here with my crazy story.
I talked to Carson and told him that he can't leave the house without a grown up. He seemed to understand and I didn't get upset with him. He's only 2. He was just trying to make sure our dog was ok.
I've really learned that even when I wasn't distracted by Facebook or music or anything, these things can happen so fast!! I called my husband and told him what happened. He wasn't upset with me at all. He understands too how easily something like this can happen. This story has a happy ending, nothing bad came of it. We bought and extra lock for our door so we can lock ourselves in. There's no way our little toddler can escape on us again. He has to grow really tall first!
Morale of the story, get a second lock for your door, toddlers are capable of the unexpected! Also, no parent is perfect. We're all learning and trying to do our best. We screw up, probably a lot, as long as we learn from our mistakes we will grow and become better parents. It's good to share stories like this because it makes other parents feel "normal" and understood.
September 1, 2013
A Summer Cold
Of course we all end up sick for the last long weekend of the summer... I have no idea how my immune system is so compromised these days. I chug back my green smoothies almost daily, take good multi-vitamins, eat a clean diet, drink lots of water.. blah, blah, blah... oh wait, maybe it's because of my lack of SLEEP!!!
It always happens this way.. Carson gets sick first and is up half the night, I get up with him and get drooled on and snotted all over, go back to bed, sleep for a few hours and do it again. Then I have to get up and carry on with my life and those demands. I guess eventually, my body needs a break.
A summer cold is not the same as a winter cold. It feels 10 times worse because it's SUNNY and HOT out! Why would I want to sleep and sit on the couch all day? Well, I did it anyway. I listened to my body. I did what my Mother taught me and drank lots of water and rested. It was hard. No joke. I don't like sitting around. It did help and I was back to about 80% in 2 days. Not bad considering I had Carson to look after as well.
Four days later and I'm still holding onto a bit of the snuffles. I've been using my time to clean and make meals to try to get ahead of of another busy week coming up. This cold has forced me to slow down and reflect on my life and some of the things that keep me busy. I feel like I need to work on taking more time to just chill out. No phone. No computer. No noise. Relaxing isn't something I do well and it's time that I learn to stop stressing and trying to do it all.
Carson needs a healthy Mamma to take care of him and I need to try to put myself a little higher on the priority list. I need to stop being hard on myself and expecting everything to be perfect. Perfect doesn't exist. Perfect is boring. When I am strong and healthy, my family is too. It needs to start with me. I can't prevent getting sick, but I can try harder to take more time for myself and treat myself a litter nicer.
All Mom's out there fall into this somewhere along the way. We all put our family's needs before our own, our employers needs before our own and even our friends needs before our own. It's ok to do that sometimes and most of us are just nice enough, good natured people to do that, but we also need to think about our well being and respecting ourselves. If we don't respect ourselves, no one else will either.
As I sit here next to my tissue box and tea, I'm reminded of the smaller things in life and just how important health is. It doesn't always matter if all the laundry gets done, if every single meal during the week was made from scratch, sometimes we just need to put our feet up and let it all go...none of that stuff will matter 20 years from now.
It always happens this way.. Carson gets sick first and is up half the night, I get up with him and get drooled on and snotted all over, go back to bed, sleep for a few hours and do it again. Then I have to get up and carry on with my life and those demands. I guess eventually, my body needs a break.
A summer cold is not the same as a winter cold. It feels 10 times worse because it's SUNNY and HOT out! Why would I want to sleep and sit on the couch all day? Well, I did it anyway. I listened to my body. I did what my Mother taught me and drank lots of water and rested. It was hard. No joke. I don't like sitting around. It did help and I was back to about 80% in 2 days. Not bad considering I had Carson to look after as well.
Four days later and I'm still holding onto a bit of the snuffles. I've been using my time to clean and make meals to try to get ahead of of another busy week coming up. This cold has forced me to slow down and reflect on my life and some of the things that keep me busy. I feel like I need to work on taking more time to just chill out. No phone. No computer. No noise. Relaxing isn't something I do well and it's time that I learn to stop stressing and trying to do it all.
Carson needs a healthy Mamma to take care of him and I need to try to put myself a little higher on the priority list. I need to stop being hard on myself and expecting everything to be perfect. Perfect doesn't exist. Perfect is boring. When I am strong and healthy, my family is too. It needs to start with me. I can't prevent getting sick, but I can try harder to take more time for myself and treat myself a litter nicer.
All Mom's out there fall into this somewhere along the way. We all put our family's needs before our own, our employers needs before our own and even our friends needs before our own. It's ok to do that sometimes and most of us are just nice enough, good natured people to do that, but we also need to think about our well being and respecting ourselves. If we don't respect ourselves, no one else will either.
As I sit here next to my tissue box and tea, I'm reminded of the smaller things in life and just how important health is. It doesn't always matter if all the laundry gets done, if every single meal during the week was made from scratch, sometimes we just need to put our feet up and let it all go...none of that stuff will matter 20 years from now.
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