It's been a week since my first day back to work. I am working about 15-25 hours a week and on paper that doesn't seem like much, but it's been a lot harder to adjust to than I anticipated.

I was so anxious about how Carson was going to be without me there at bedtime. I was hoping for the best, but somewhat wanting him to miss me too. He did really well for Austin for the first two bedtimes without his Mommy. No issues. It was just a normal night, but without me there.

It was so strange being at work. Being in an adult environment is weird to get used to. Working as a CSR in the bank is also a very social job. I was overwhelmed for the first few days. It was weird not being able to eat when I wanted, or even fart! Yes, fart! I said it. You sure get used to being at home when you're on parental leave.

The first full day away from Carson was also a stressful day for me. Of course he woke up at 4am that morning and woke me up too. He did go back to sleep until 7am which is an hour longer than he normally sleeps. The one day that I had to be out of the house by 8am he does this!! Really!?? I had to actually get ready for work. This is a process. Something I'm not really used to. I've been wearing lululemon capris and joe fresh t's for the past 2 months religiously. I've even stopped making excuses for my attire lately. I just don't care! I'm a Mom! 

So where am I even going with all of this? I guess going back to work has been much harder than I thought it would be at first.  The good news is, like everything, it gets easier. I'm now getting used to it. It's crazy how women can add so much extra to their lives and just keep taking it. Really, wouldn't it be nice if life wasn't so expensive and we could just not work and spend 100% of our time with our children? On the other hand, it's been awesome getting back into a professional environment. I feel like I'm getting my brains back. (not all of them though, I don't think I ever will again.)

I was pleasantly surprised how easy it was for me to just throw myself back into my old job. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised! I was doing it for 5 years almost before I had Carson. It's scary how much I just did without thinking. The team I'm working with has also been very welcoming. The mix of people I'm working with are so easy going and very down to Earth. I feel like I'm really fitting in and I will excel in what I'm doing.

I feel much more relaxed about leaving Carson for extended amounts of time now as well. I am now starting to think about leaving him for a weekend and doing something FUN.  I have fun every single day when I'm with Carson, but I mean, baby-free-fun!

Life is a constant battle of dinner, dishes, taking care of everyone and trying to fit in something for yourself (which usually comes last, but hey, that's just something else we accept right?). The real challenge is figuring out how to juggle the important things.

I'm so greatful for the help we've received from my Mother-in-law as well. Carson has not had to go to daycare nor have I had to shell out any extra cash. He gets lots of attention from her too. Thankfully, he's also sleeping for her. This was a HUGE concern before I went back to work.

As you may have read, we had some major sleep troubles with Carson at the beginning so I was worried that everyhting I had worked so hard to make work was going to be thrown out the window. Carson surprised me and kept to his sleeping routine. This was so relieving for us. 

June has been a very busy month for the Reid family! Austin's birthday is tomorrow, my sister's bridal shower is next week, and then it's Carson's first birthday the following weekend! I've been dealing with all this on top of starting work again.  How do I do it?  I just do. 

Back To Work

When Austin and I first met and had all those crazy discussions about life and our future together, one thing we talked about was kids. We both said that we wanted to be there for our kids as much as possible.

 Austin and I both were fortunate to have wonderful Mother's who stayed at home with us most of our lives. We grew up with a Mom there whenever we needed her. A Mom to send us off to school and be there when we got home. We both agreed that we wanted the same thing for our own children one day.

One day is here!! After months of thinking and talking about what I'm going to do about going back to work I've decided to go back part-time. I know we will be giving up certain things.. wait, we already have! We don't go out, we don't buy fancy things and we aren't moving into a massive house anytime soon. We want to enjoy growing our family and be able to afford things here and there. We can make it work, we just need to pinch pennies.. wait, we already do! 


The cost of daycare compared to my income and the amount of time I would be away from my baby was just not worth it. Nothing would get done around the house and I would be exhausted. I'm not sure how other Mother's do it.

Going back to work part-time is what is going to work for me (I think!). A great opportunity close to home has come up and I have my interview today. I'm excited and nervous about going back to work. I've been hanging around in Mommy-land for 10 months now and have no idea what is going on in the banking world.  Wonder how many new Visa products have been rolled out? Lots of catching up to do.

Fortunately, we found a great care provider just around the corner and we have had a couple play dates so far. I know this adjustment is going to be harder on me than it will be on Carson. Lately, every time I give him his bottle and put him down for his nap, I almost cry thinking that I won't be around as much soon.

I know it's normal and every Mom goes through this. I'm worried about how well he will nap at daycare, if he's going to miss me, if he will get hurt by other kids (it's happened before under my own watch!), if I will be able to handle another role.... the list goes on.

Some good news is that my old work pants fit! They may not fix exactly the same way, but they fit and I don't have a muffin top.(woo hoo!) I know everyone will be looking to see how well I've "bounced back" from having a baby and gaining 60 pounds right? People do stare at my tummy to see the damage. I feel like just lifting up my shirt and showing them! Might not be appropriate in a professional environment though right? I will have to remind myself that I'm not at home anymore in my Mommy pants! 

So much to think about, but I know I can handle this. I've handled a lot this past year. I can do it and so can Carson. Change is good, I'm going to embrace it!