"I want to see my baby brother!"

Over the past few weeks as my belly has been rapidly expanding, Carson has taken a huge interest in talking to his baby brother. When he wakes up in the morning, he comes into our room and wants to sing to his brother and see him. I have to admit, it really is the sweetest thing. The connection they already have as brothers is so unique. 

When the baby kicks and moves, Carson likes to see that too. I'm glad that Carson is old enough to experience this with me. He seems to understand what's going on. I've always tried to explain things to him as much as I can. We want to include him in this experience as much as possible. I've made a point not to be constantly talking about the baby. I never want Carson to feel like he's being replaced or not as special as the new baby. Everything he's doing is on his own accord. That's what makes is so amazing to me. As a parent expecting the unexpected is something that I do often. Carson constantly says and does things I can't believe. 

He touches the baby and says he loves his baby brother. He sings songs to him and shares his food and toys with him. I just hope that it all continues when the baby is actually here in a few more weeks. 

These are some of the special moments as a Mother, I'll never forget and always cherish. I'm very greatful for the gifts I've been given. 

Learning to Slow Down.... sort of...

I went to the gym on the weekend and did BodyAttack. About half way through, my round ligament started to feel tight. I tried to take the low options to take a bit of a break from the jumping, but it's so hard to just slow down and be the only one not doing the full workout. I still took it somewhat easy from that point on, but I didn't enjoy the rest of the class one bit. I kept thinking of the pain I was feeling. I didn't want to just leave the class. The pain would just go away right?

It's not in my nature to "slack off", especially when it comes to workouts. My body was telling me to stop though and I didn't listen to it. A huge sign that maybe being 26 weeks pregnant is a good time to start modifying my workouts a teeny tiny bit.

After the class in the change room, another Mom approached me and told me that she regretted not slowing down sooner. She said she worked out too long and ended up having a harder time getting back into her routine after her second baby. She told me that as soon as I start to feel any type of pain, to just stop doing those types of exercises. 

I thought it was really nice of her to reach out to me this way. Even though I had already came to this realization, I don't know if I would have stopped the class entirely unless she told me her story.I would call that denial. I did the same thing last Spring when I hurt my foot. I was in pain, but just kept doing high impact workouts. Well, I ended up tearing a muscle in my arch. I'm still not 100% back to normal. I really am that stubborn when it comes to my workout regime. I like to push myself to my limits and won't accept anything less or I feel like I've "failed".

I'm growing a precious life inside my body and I haven't been even close to doing anything that would put him or myself at risk. Prior to this pregnancy my fitness level was advanced and very used to all the things I am doing to it now. Just because I was used to it and have felt good up until this weekend, doesn't mean I should just keep going this hard every week. I need to slow down...

My problem is just accepting that I need to change what I'm doing now. I need to understand that I won't balloon up like a whale just because I stop killing myself in BodyAttack class. I need to treat myself better.

What is most important now is that I have energy to take care of Carson and that I don't injure myself. I also work 3-4 times a week and need to be able to function there. I only have 3 more months. All of these body changes are only temporary and I haven't gained even half of what I did with Carson at this point. Instead of always looking at the negative, I need to start being happy with what I've achieved. I need to say goodbye to tuck jumps and plyo lunges and hello to a new routine. My body is an amazing thing. My body is growing a human begin and it's doing a great job so far. I need to nurture my body more. Go to a prenatal yoga class. I need to stop trying to push myself so hard and let go of my fear of "being fat" so that I can just enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. I need to embrace my body and the wonderful things it's doing to give me another baby to love and hold. I need to stop comparing myself to the other perfect girls at the gym who aren't pregnant. I am beautiful too.

I need to just stop fighting with myself. I love being pregnant and I'm so excited to meet this baby. I'm doing a great job with my nutrition and keeping as active as I can. Now it's time to also relax more and love myself. I can do this.