Carson has learned how to sit up in his crib and continues to get stuck in the strangest positions. I have to go in and rescue him at times and tuck him back in. This has made it tough to decipher when he's crying if he needs me or not. I just wait to see if I can hear him banging on the crib. He likes to throw his soother out of the crib too. I think he gets frustrated because he wants to get it and can't.
The good news is that there is much less crying now. Even during the night. When I feed him he goes right back to sleep all on his own. No protesting. His eyes are open when I put him in his crib. I don't rock him back to sleep at all. This means I'm only awake for 10-15 minutes now when he needs a feeding. This is much better than before.
I have accepted that Austin and I created much of the poor sleep habits that Carson has ourselves. I went through a day or two of feeling guilty about that.(Always blaming myself!) I caused him to be reliant on me to fall asleep and now we are forced to break these habits.
Austin and I didn't do any reading about sleep. We just thought we could figure it all out. Mistake # 1! Thankfully, Carson is handling the changes well and we are seeing many positive changes in his sleep habits.
I feel so relieved to finally have "figured" this out. For those of you who are judging me for my method of letting my precious baby boy cry, I don't care. I however, judged others for doing this and have now done it myself. I guess that makes me a hypocrite?? Yep. That's me. All I know is that sometimes doing what is "right" isn't easy. It's been 4 days of sticking to this new way and Carson barley makes a peep when he goes down to sleep. In less than a week, his sleep habits have dramatically changed. Those are real results with a lasting impact. A healthy new way of life for all of us in the Reid household.
I'm still not sleeping as well as I should be. I was reading more of the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child today, and it mentioned that if monitors are being used to stop using them. My kid is only a few feet away and in the next room. I'm only making my sleep less restful by amplifying the sounds of him fussing himself back to sleep. He's not even crying, but it wakes me up. I will hear him when he needs me.
Here is an interesting paragraph I love from the book.
"It cannot be emphasized enough: The major sleep problems in babies from five to twelve months old develop and persist because of the inability of parents to stop reinforcing bad sleep habits. Some parents don't see themselves as interfering with an important learning process in their child, namely, learning how to soothe themselves to sleep unassisted. The failure of children to fall asleep and stay asleep by themselves is the direct result of parents' failure to give their child the opportunity to learn these self-soothing skills. In other words, some parents can't leave their kids alone long enough for them to fall asleep by themselves. Don't underestimate children's competence and ability to learn at these early months!" p. 271-272 Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child; M.Weissbluth,M.D.
I know, it makes you feel bad right? It sure made me see that I was holding Carson back and not allowing him to figure things out on his own. Now that I've given him the chance to do so, look how well he's doing! It's great!
Anyone who knows me must be surprised to hear me say I let my kid cry it out. Even 2 months ago, I never thought I would do this. The thing is, I tried all the fluffy stuff, like going to him every 5-10-15 minutes, picking up, putting down, ect.. It was all too little too late.
If I had started to change our sleep habits earlier on at 3-4 months, maybe a more "gentle" approach could have been successful. On the other hand, Carson is a pretty stubborn kid. He is happy and easy going, but when it comes to sleep, he doesn't do so well. I'm sure he gets this from me. So, Mom and Dad, I guess I'm getting my "pay back".
I also have changed my thinking of crying. Crying is a form of communication. When Carson goes to sleep, he's always fed and comfortable. When I did go to him when he cried all the time, he would laugh at me or start trying to play games. He just wanted attention. This behaviour is also my fault. I went to him for everything for so long that he got used to my company, instead of just going back to sleep on his own, my presence awakened him much more than if I would have just left him.
There are so many ways to break bad sleep habits. My choice may not be right for you and your family. Like I've said, this has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. Having a baby is tough. I didn't think it would be this hard. I feel so much pride that I have accomplished something positive for my baby. He needs sleep that isn't fragmented. He needs rest to grow and be strong and healthy.
It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions, but we've survived and come out stronger than ever!
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