The Challenges of the First Year

A lot of people told me when I was pregnant to enjoy the rest of my time alone with Austin because once baby comes life is pretty much over. I hated hearing that. What pregnant woman wants to hear that? People say the strangest things. The worst thing you can say to any pregnant woman is: "Wow, you're huge! Are you sure it's not twins!??". I was told this so many times. The first couple times bothered me, but then I just got over it. I was massive! 


Anyway, the people were somewhat right about having a baby. Your life as you know it as an expectant parent is over once the baby arrives. There's no denying that! Looking back to the first year now that I have adjusted to everything, it was insane. I don't remember as much as I thought I would. There were many, many sleepless nights and days alone that I thought I was going to go crazy. Days I didn't shower and lost track of everything and everyone. When the sleep regression began at 4 months, our lives took a turn in the other direction. 

I feel like sleep is what gets new parents. When you don't have sleep, everything is crazy. I resented Austin when I shouldn't have, I eventually was upset with Carson for not sleeping and not understanding why he wouldn't just shut up and sleep! It sounds blunt, but that's how it was. I'm trying to give a realistic view on parenting and this is how it was for us. 

Dinner was rarely made, dishes weren't done, laundry piled up. Slowly things got out of control. Once we went through the process of getting Carson into better sleeping habbits everything changed. Life was a lot better when we were sleeping. Austin slept the entire time, but he had to deal with me. I used to wake him up when I was getting too frustrated to even hold Carson. It was that tough sometimes. 

I can happily say that everything we went through was worth it. There is light at the end of the tunnel even when it seems like you're never going to get there. It's ok to be angry and upset with the way things are too. Things also get easier when I finally just accepted that I was doing most of it on my own and I had to just be strong. No one was going to cook or clean for us. I just had to deal with that. 

I have grown a lot over the past 16 months. I didn't see it 12 months ago, but the challenges I was facing then taught me so much about myself and my family. I know I have so much to learn and so much more to go through, but I am confident in myself and my husband that we can get through it together and as long as we have love, that's really all we need.