Surviving Without Sleep

Sleep deprivation is brutal. It can turn me into this different person temporarily sometimes. It's just plain frustrating when your baby keeps waking up at all hours of the night. As much as I love Carson and love being the only one he wants for comfort and food, it is both physically and mentally exhausting.

When I was pregnant with Carson, I didn't believe people were so serious when they told me they wished they could bank their sleep prior to having children and use it to help get through some of the most tiring days.  I just thought I was young and could do it all no problem. I am doing it, but there are days that I just don't want to, but I have to. That's the thing, it never stops, you just have to keep going and going.

Having a baby is a lot of work that ultimately comes with many rewards. I didn't expect to be over 7 months into this and still be up so much at night. We've established a great bedtime routine and recently have had some good nights. I know Carson is capable of sleeping better and for longer stretches of time. That is what can be frustrating. I still remain hopeful that eventually it will become more consistent and I will get some sort of sleep back. I'm positive that teething is to blame for most of the recent sleep changes and have been told by other Mother's that teething lasts for 2 years.... great.

A couple of nights ago, Carson slept for 7 hours in a row without making a peep. I woke up and felt so refreshed. I went to the gym with Carson that morning and my head felt clear. I felt calm and relaxed. I didn't even feel the need for a single cup of coffee and I had enough energy to get through my entire day very productively.  Sleep makes such a huge difference, even just one night of it.

Having the support of my husband, getting out of the house (even if I don't need anything), drinking coffee (not more than 2 cups a day), eating healthy every 2-3 hours, venting to my Mom and friends when I need to, and Carson's smiles and laughs are all things that help survive the longest and toughest days. How can I ever be in a bad mood or feel like I don't want to do this anymore when I have a sweet baby boy who loves me? He can do the cutest thing ever and it makes all the tiredness go away... for about 10 minutes... but it helps!

I want people to know that when it comes to having a baby and when sleep deprivation happens, because it will at some point, it sucks. Finding something positive to reflect on and focus on helps to get through it. Time just goes on. Nothing stops for you to sleep. The dishes will all still be there and the piles of laundry too. It just is what it is. Where's that magic cleaning fairy? I was hoping she existed.

Adding a baby to our lives has doubled the speed of each day. It's insanity sometimes, but you just do it. No one is going to feel sorry for you and even if they do it's not going to help you. You're on your own and there is no easy way out of it. You can't call in sick either and babies don't have pause buttons. They do give a lot of love and happiness in exchange for your sleep..... I think that alone is worth the bags under my eyes!
Welcome to parenthood!